Most Men Over 60 Are Terrible at Mentoring. Learn The Right Way and Earn Respect. Older men don’t Tend to Mentor. They lecture. And That’s Where They Go Wrong.
The biggest compliment I got was a few months ago came from yapping with a younger lad over a typical Aussie beach BBQ. After a long chat he said to me, “I hope im like you when I get to your age”. That struck a chord with me. The conversation was natural. I was passing on my own experiences. Where I fucked up. Where I did well and how I overcame challenges. Most men lecture. If you do that the boys just roll their eyes.
Typically, the old man sits across from younger men and unloads advice like it’s some kind of insight, like a gift hes giving.
He talks about being disciplined, respect, work ethic, and “how the world really works.” He genuinely believe hes passing on wisdom.
But here’s the uncomfortable truth: Most of old men are full of shit. Not because their advice is always wrong – but because their lives don’t match the words coming out of their mouths.
They preach about staying strong as they get weaker every year.
These men talk about integrity while quietly compromising on everything that actually matters.
They tell younger men to take risks while living the safest, smallest version of their own lives.
And the boys are not ignorent. They see through youre bullshit and think. Heres another boring old fart trying to tell me how to live my life.
The boys might not say anything. They might even nod along out of politeness. But deep down, they stop listening. Because when there’s a gap between what the old man says compared to how he actually lives, there is a disconnect.
Once they feel it, the lectures become background noise.
This is why most older men fail at teaching the boys.
They want the respect and the authority that comes with age, but they haven’t done the work to earn it.
These men expect younger men to listen simply because they’re older or maybe wiser, not because they’re impressive. They confuse having opinions with having standards. So they keep talking and keep giving the advice they’re not living.
They keep preaching the values they wished they lived by.
They keep wondering why their sons and grandsons or younger men they work with or talk to don’t seem interested in what they have to say.
The hard truth is this: You cannot teach the lessons you if do not live by those lessons yourself.
If you actually want to mentor younger men, sons, grandsons, or just younger men looking for direction – you have to stop trying to sound like the wise old man and start becoming dangerous again.
Here’s how to actually do it:
1. Lead With Your Actions,
Not Your Opinions. Stop telling them how to train, how to work, or how to handle pressure. Show them.
Train hard in front of them. Keep your word when it’s inconvenient. Take calculated risks and talk about the process, not just the outcome. Young men don’t need another lecture on discipline – they need to see what disciplined actually looks like when your over 60.
2. Stay Sharp and Keep Growing. Most older men get lazy with their minds. They stop learning, stop reading, and stop engaging with the world. Then they wonder why younger men don’t respect their opinions.
If you want to teach the boys, stay dangerous in your thinking. Learn new skills. Stay current with technology, culture, and ideas. The moment you stop growing, you lose the right to speak with authority.
3. Be Willing to Fail in Front of Them. One of the most powerful things you can do is let younger men see you struggle and keep going. Most older men try to appear like they’ve got it all figured out. That’s weak.
Show them what it looks like to take a hit, admit when you’re wrong, and get back up. That’s real mentoring. That’s what builds respect.
4. Hold a Higher Standard – Especially when no one’s watching. Young men are watching how you treat people when it doesn’t benefit you. They’re watching how you speak about your life partner (if you have one), your kids, how you handle money when times are tight, and how you carry yourself when life gets hard.
If your standards drop the moment it’s inconvenient, they’ll notice. And they’ll lose respect for everything else you say.
5. Make Them Earn Your Respect – And Earn theirs. Stop giving respect just because someone is younger or older. Make it clear that respect is earned through character and effort. At the same time, become the kind of man who naturally commands it.
When you live at a high standard, you don’t have to demand respect. It shows up on its own. The men who actually succeed at teaching the boys aren’t the ones with the best advice. They’re the ones whose lives are hard to ignore. Most older men will keep talking. They’ll keep preaching. They’ll keep wondering why nobody’s listening. The rare ones – the dangerous ones – will shut the fuck up and start living in a way that makes younger men want to follow.
That’s the difference between lecturing and leading.
And it’s the only kind of mentoring that actually works.
Grow Old, Stay Relevant, Stay Dangerous, Teach The Boys