The advice nobody gave me and why it matters more now than ever.
I turned 40 and thought I had plenty of time. The body was working and the mind was sharp. I was “doing fine.” So I kept doing what I’d always done. Working hard, staying “responsible,” and telling myself the big moves could wait. I was wrong. I look back and see the three things that would have changed everything if someone had grabbed me and told me straight. Man to man. Here they are.
1. Get strong – properly strong while your body still can. I wish someone had told me that “staying active” is not the same as staying dangerous. Walking to the pub and playing the occasional round of golf feels responsible but It isn’t enough. Not if you want to keep your independence, your strength and your ability to handle whatever life throws at you at 70, 80, or beyond. At 40 I could have built real strength with far less effort than it takes now. Instead I waited. By the time I woke up, I was overweight and weak. Recovery took longer. Injuries came easier. The truth is “Your physical capability is the foundation everything else rests on“. Lose it and you lose out. Keep it and you stay dangerous.
Start now. Not tomorrow because tomorrow never comes. The version of you at 60 will thank the version of you at 40 for having the discipline to lift heavy things and walk with them.
2. Stop playing it safe with your time and your money. I wish someone had told me that comfort is the fastest way to become irrelevant. At 40 I had skills, energy, and a lots of mates. I could have started a side business, gone for a bigger role, learned the new skill, or invested more aggressively. Instead I chose the safe path – the steady job, the predictable routine, the “don’t rock the boat” mindset. By 55 the world had moved on. I was pretty much burnt out in a high pressure sales role. Younger, hungrier men were doing what I could have been doing in the management roles I should have gone for. Opportunities that once felt risky now looked like the only sane moves. The men who stay dangerous into their 60s and beyond are not the ones who played it safest. They were the ones who kept taking calculated risks in business, in skills, in experiences even when it felt uncomfortable. Here’s what nobody tells you: The window for big moves doesn’t stay open forever. Your energy, your risk tolerance, and your ability to recover from failure all decline with age. The safe choice at 40 often becomes the regret at 60. Make the move while the downside is still manageable. Build multiple income streams. Keep your skills sharp. Stay in the game instead of watching from the sidelines.
3. Start teaching the boys while you still have something worth teaching. I wish someone had told me that the fastest way to stay relevant is to teach what you know to younger men. At 40 I was still figuring things out myself. I thought mentoring was something you did later, once you had it all sorted. So I stayed quiet. I kept my lessons to myself. I let the next generation figure it out the hard way, just like I did. Now I see younger men hungry for straight talk. They don’t need another motivational quote. They need a man who’s been through it to tell them what actually works and what’s does,nt. When you teach, two things happen: You stay sharp because you have to articulate what you know. You create a legacy that outlives you. The men who are still dangerous in their 60s and 70s aren’t the ones who retired to the couch. They’re the ones who have young men coming to them for advice on strength, on money, on women, on life. That relationship keeps you relevant. It keeps you needed. It keeps you dangerous. Don’t wait until you feel “qualified.” You already know more than you think. Start sharing it.
Those are the three. If I could go back to my 40 year-old self , I wouldn’t tell him to work harder or be nicer or chase happiness. I’d tell him to get strong, stay in the fight, and start passing the torch. Because the men who grow old well don’t just survive. They stay relevant. They stay dangerous. And they make sure the boys don’t have to learn everything the hard way. You still have time.
Is there one thing you wish someone had told you at 40?
Drop it in the comments on the Facebook page
Some younger man might need to read it today.
Stay dangerous.
Teach the boys.